"Does the yelling upset you, or do you believe those things she said while yelling at you?"

"Research into this issue shows that she yells at you because she loves you so much. She is frustrated by your behavior, and it manifests as yelling."

"Can you describe how you feel when she yells at you? Pretend it is happening right now in the present moment."

"You are saying that you are upset by her verbal assaults."